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Jodorowsky labored in vain to get Dune made with Dalí and Welles, and yet a charming space odyssey emerges by virtual accident out of an edited X-rated lampoon? "Yes, your ass-holiness." Under attack by sex rays from outer space, people from all over the world throw themselves into horny frenzies. Off to Planet Porno, then, with glazed beefcake Flesh Gordon (Jason Williams) and frequently-fondled Dale Ardor (Suzanne Fields) aboard a wang-rocketship piloted by Dr. Jerkoff (Joseph Hudgins). Emperor Wang the Perverted (William Dennis Hunt) is a lisping, powdered eunuch who keeps a bacchanal continuously writhing in his court, the earthlings' ingratitude invokes his ire: "I will burn your fucking planet to a fucking crisp, you dildo!" The rightful ruler (Lance Larsen) dons Robin Hood caps and holds ass-grabbing extravaganzas in the woods, beneath the palace is the lesbian underground led by a piratical amazon (Candy Samples), squeaky pegleg and Cylon eyepatch and all. Though they accentuate the softcore humping in a rebuke to the coyness of Barbarella, the makers of Mona: The Virgin Nymph aren't blind to the bits of poesy floating by. When the hero romps with Queen Amora (Nora Wieternik), her swan-shaped vessel glides through constellations that include a puppy wagging its tail at the spectacle. Weaving in and out of this amiable spoof is a string of ribald stop-motion sketches, Harryhausen homages with metallic insectoid guardians and winking one-eyed worms ("Some species of Penisaurus, I believe"). Lustrous as it is, Mike Hodges' official version a few years later can't possibly compete with a Claymation behemoth voiced like a late-night beatnik deejay.
--- Fernando F. Croce |