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A flurry of images sets the stage—a vanload of schoolchildren warble a Cantonese version of "London Bridge Is Falling Down," a rubber pterodactyl crash-lands and cracks the pavement, Hong Kong is promptly in flames. Earthquakes reveal monsters dormant in the primordial volcano, a screeching gargoyle turns into Princess Dragon Mom (Terry Liu), the Valkyrie-dominatrix who lays down the law to awestruck scientists: "Hear me, humans. I have conquered the Earth." The sage professor (Hsieh Wang) warns of this "being of the Ice Age," meanwhile the villainess cracks her whip and summons somersaulting minions, loudmouth brawlers dying to pummel earthlings. Against them the Chinese Superman with Thunderball Fists, a jumpsuit-clad tumbler (Danny Lee) zapped with "energy" and equipped with red leather and insectoid antennas. His foes include a tentacled plant wrestler, a mutant prune with drills for hands, bugs and banshees and Thai brass demons with blowtorches in their mouths. "Good health, courage, self-sacrifice" are the requirements, with them come Laser Blades and Lethal Kicks. Maquettes and Méliès cuts, wire-fu and solarized flares, colored smoke and questionable stunt safety, all squeezed into Shan Hua's florid Shaw Brothers extravaganza. Horned-skeleton underlings are quelled by the dozen, combatants grow to skyscraper size during bouts, the sidekick Witch Eye (Shu-Yi Tsen) hypnotizes with the peepers in her palms until she plunges into a lava pit. "For the children of the world!" Between Martinson's Batman and Hodges' Flash Gordon, the giddiest pop distillate, the tangible juvenile pleasure of playing with action figures. With Man-Tzu Yuan, Bruce Le, Wen-Wei Lin, and Yang Chiang.
--- Fernando F. Croce |