Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (Lou Adler / U.S., 1982):

Diane Lane's face in close-up during the opening interview is the kind of beguiling teenage wasteland the Godard of Masculin Féminin would have killed for. (The sullen blankness flinches at only one question: "Do you think your views may change as you grow older?" "Grow older?") Out of the industrial Pennsylvania burg, the pissed-off orphan infiltrates a music scene of exiled punk-rock thrashers, decaying glam guitarists, Rastafarian drivers, groupies and overdoses. The Metal Corpses (led by Fee Waybill in increasingly clownish Kiss facepaint) and The Looters (led by Ray Winstone, with backup by bruisers from The Clash and Sex Pistols) are the squabbling bands on tour, between them the runaway comes up with The Fabulous Stains with sister (Marin Kanter) and cousin (Laura Dern) and takes off. The lyrics tell the tale ("I'm a waste of time, don't touch me..."), the image sells the product: The anti-social heroine's two-toned skunk tresses, eye-shadow slashes and diaphanous blouses catch the eye of the local media, legions of adolescents parrot her motto ("Don't put out"). The idol-worshippers are fickle, however, one word to the crowd of mallrat clones and the gig's up. The promoter (David Clennon) spells it out: "You were just a concept, and you've blown the concept." Tashlin's The Girl Can't Help It and Gibson's Breaking Glass inform the bitter satire, Lou Adler's direction has a band wrangler's exhausted acquaintance with meteoric fads and cults. The coda posits a lesson about original voices and mainstream pap, then cheerfully settles for an MTV video. "Join the professionals, you're gonna be one anyway." With Peter Donat, Paul Cook, Steve Jones, Paul Simonon, and Christine Lahti.

--- Fernando F. Croce

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